Will just,"Thank you, Sir" be enough?

                                    My teachers,the greatest godsend gifts on earth,
                                    Burning your candle to light the lives of zillions of us
                                    Without you,my gracious teachers of all-time,
                                    Dead would have the best curriculum remained.

                                   Your teaching of being innovative and creative was
                                   Really an oasis in the deserted life of mine.
                                  You educated me not just to think what's in the box,
                                  But at times to think outside and some days without it.

                                  You have withstood the storms and thrown your shadows,
                                  Upon a small saplings which now shakes before the breeze.
                                  You even irrigated the dried corner of my life,
                                  After you were sure that my bushes of illusion are cleared.

                                 Much good light in life have i learnt and realized,
                                 For you have stood by my side despite my hiccups.
                                No pearls can speak how grateful i am nor will do so,
                                For you have created "amazement" beyond anyone's dream.

                               And today the day has come for you,my dear teachers,
                               To make you feel how amazing you are to the world.
                               World is selfish for having kept only a day as,"Teachers' Day"
                              But you you already know that every day is your day.

This started like a once-upon a time's story.

My daddy used to tell me, "Life isn't always rainbows and butterflies for neither of them last long. Life is what we make of it." Sometimes life is so cruel that (actually we make it) it back stabs and throws us into a dark and deserted well where only spiders and bats find it a perfect place for sheltering. What are we supposed to do if we are thrown in a dungeon? How are we supposed to get out of that long and horror-like well? This is the very moment we feel like we are left in a room without Oxygen. We feel octopus' tentacles holding us tight from every possible space it scans. Will you suffocate to death in that room? Will you let that creature blue you till death? Or you have something different in your mind? My father always used to ask me such questions to which I would smile and say, "That's ridiculous question, Appa." though I knew those questions meant more than what they actually were meant to be. I listened to his life story for several times but I feel more interested as I hear more of the same story time and again.

My lovely family

My father had a bitter life since his birth. It was hard for his widowed mother to feed and clothe him and his only sibling brother. He worked for an elite family in his village when he was just nine. Waking up early in the morning and fetching firewood were the hardest things which he even dreads today. Day hours were bit lighter. Herding cattle and seeing other herders of his age would make him happy for little time of his tiring life schedule. Sometimes the days were not better when the cattle entered others' field and the landlord scolded him for not being vigilant and even bruised him at times. He would put on his torch and move to the temporary shed meant for guarding crops during the night after a cup of porridge or sometimes two when he had not collected enough of wild fruits during the day hours. He missed his family back home and cried but who would listen to the poor boy? Those moments were the moments when he felt he was in those real tentacles. He was stuck in reverse; He was tired but couldn't sleep. I pity my father.

His elder brother who used to make frequent visits no more cared about knowing how his younger brother was doing. That’s obvious. Everyone changes after they get married. Mother shouting at his wife would hurt the one more than his wife shouting at his mother. His brother was married to a middle-class lady from the village. His brother didn't even care about realizing how his mother suffered back home and how desperately his little brother longed to see his face. My father felt a feeling that his world wasn't just fetching firewood, herding cattle and guarding crops. He saw a brighter world beyond elsewhere. Once my father made an attempt to run away from the family he used to work for which actually was successful for duration of a week. His friend took him to school and made him learn ABC’s in one of the boarding schools then. The news spread so fast that the family came to claim him. He had no other option left with him just then to walk with reluctance as his master pulled him. That was unfair!!

One fine night, he ran away from his master. When he reached home, he saw his mother with sore all over her palm preparing her bed. She exclaimed, “Drupchu, What at this hour! Aren't you supposed to be guarding your master’s crop?” She prepared another bed near her for her son. The conversation lasted until rooster crowed for another new day to begin. The son shared his decision of going for a monk. Mother wasn't convinced at first for she always thought that the landlord treated him good. She thought it wrong. She was reluctant to send him as he was the only kid left with her after her eldest son got married. Finally she decided to take him to a monastery and formally make him a monk. Reunited mother and son slept after long conversation and the mother sighed as her head landed on a rough pillow, “I should have kept you both with me. I am such a bad mother. I am sorry, my son.” What could she do? She was helpless.

Next morning his mother woke up and prepared some gifts to be taken to the abbot of the monastery. My father opened his eyes and heard his mother saying, “Don’t wake up. Your mother is not done with breakfast yet, son.” It was 7 o’clock in the morning. He had already slept three hours longer. He was free bird thenceforth. With much excitement, he woke up and dressed himself up. After the breakfast they moved towards the monastery. They prostrated before the abbot and offered the gifts as they were let into the shrine of the monastery. He became a monk. I should say ‘lay monk (gomchen)’ to be particular. He was personally guided and taught by the abbot himself like his own son. At that peaceful moment, my father felt everything at its best. He had no resource but he had resourcefulness in him. He created resource through his resourcefulness. He studied hard and came through ranks. He came through ups and downs.

Now he says that he is the richest man on this whole universe with a great guru (lama) to seek discourse and truth from, beautiful and caring wife and loving children. Well, I know what he means by saying this. He is neither Bill Gates nor Steven Jobs but he is much richer in heart than what Microsoft and Apple would have possessed collaboratively in brain. He feels that he was a savior in his past life. Was he? He calls it  his 'Lungten (leading fate)'

They say that the happiness of our loved ones means a lot to us; Even more than our's. My father does think of it every moment; every second. Many would wish to see their loved ones sing out of joy, picnicking, driving, camping and smiling every day. I know that's everyone's wish and I also was brought up with that kind of wish since I was a little boy walking happily as he directed towards his school. I wanted to build a nice house for my parents and let them wear clothes which they just dared to imagine and dream. I wanted to buy my three younger siblings the best food and best Ipads which they just saw other kids enjoying. I wanted to gift my girlfriend with the most beautiful diamond ring. These even seemed possible in Walter Mitty's world of mine. This started in me like a once-upon-a-time's story since my father’s birth with which I believe have to be fought tirelessly to let it end with, "Happy ever after." Will this ever happen with me? Will I be able to make my loved ones happy even after I heard my father’s story?

I smiled as my phone displayed her contact name; Dummy.

I had been waiting for that day to come from the very long time and finally the day had come. Monday, 19^th of May, 2014 was the day I stared into the mirror to see if I looked ok. Whenever we are to take any kind of endeavor we have never taken before, two contrary minds; One led by the brain and the other one led by the heart, seem to arise from ONE us. I heard the brain always leads the brighter path and heart chooses the darker one. I chose the latter for I wanted my story to be bit different from others. I followed my HEART. Did I take any risk? Let’s see it.

I moved out of Babesa and my heart, with the mixed feelings of excitement and trepidation started singing Misty Terrace’s ‘Thimphu Babesa’. I stopped a cab and it drove me till Lungten Zam which is supposed to be the meeting place for a Tibetan Buddhist saint Phajo Drugom Zhigpo and his consort, Khandro Sonam Peldron. My heart throbbed and galloped like never before. Was it because I was going to see her for the first time in person or was it because I wasn’t prepared to welcome the journey that had been destined for me unexpectedly? NO…no…guy isn’t supposed to act nervous. Dear heart, I picked you because I trusted you over the brain and leave your cowardice behind. I spoke to myself in consoling mode though I had a little fear from within and the reason I wasn’t sure about.

 I wasn’t able to take any further step. I asked my legs to move but they refused to do so. I felt my feet nailed to the ground at that very moment. I closed my eyes and heard my heart beating. It wasn’t beating for no reason. It murmured, “Phajo Rinpoche,bless me,please.” I was left with no other option than to drag them along the bumpy road. I phoned my friend Karma and asked her if she would accompany me to which she was agreed without any expression of reluctances. “Dhendup, aren’t you scared?” asked Karma and I responded quickly, “Ahh…Why would I be scared?Not  at all.” We boys act dauntless though we aren’t and girls are so quick in reading what’s going on inside boys’ mind. She caught me, “Don’t act as if you aren’t a guy. Come on let’s go and meet your long waited angel.”

Karma and I started walking through the JDWNRH road and another yellow headed cab stopped for us. It spoke, “Where are you going?” and I responded, “Till motithang RITH gate” By the time I could realize nothing, the cab had driven us till where it was supposed to. Nervous me dismounted the cab and paid it. The journey seemed very short. I couldn’t even count one...two…and three…Karma and I waited near the small bridge that led to Sangay Gang and Karma would chuckle and pity at seeing how jumpy I looked that very moment.

After a little moment of waiting, two girls walked our direction passing through the gate. I figured it out that the two were the girl I was going to see and her friend Sangay. I chatted with the former with over 1500 messages through Facebook and over 700 pages of messages through Wechat. In fact, I had the highest chat messages with her over the both. There must be a reason or a thousand. Yes…That’s obvious. Some of the perfect relationships in the world happen unexpectedly and ours wasn’t an exception. 

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing at that minute. Did I see an angel who just escaped the guards (left traumatized by her beauty) of the heaven above? I pricked my thigh. “Ouch!” It pained. It was real. I wasn’t dreaming at all. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in this entire world. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. Did I say, “Beautiful”? Oh! Yes but it was the dumbest thing I had ever said about her for her beauty was beyond what Oxford or Cambridge could explain. How I wished Shakespeare was right there with me to put her beauty in his sonnet! Ok let me just say that she looked adorable and the best part was that she made me fall for her.

The next went like one…two and three…Karma was the first one to greet them with her brightest smile. I was just like, “h……i…..hi...” and dumbfounded.  She smiled and greeted back with much politeness and innocence.  Pema Choden. What a matching and righteous name! Her face was an extract from a lotus (Pema). Her lips moved like lilies being shaken by morning gentle breeze as she spoke. When we are in love, every word from our lovers sounds the sweetest; Even if they speak I-am-going-to-slaughter- you kind of stuffs. But believe me; she had not spoken any of such that day. By any chance she did, I would have verified Newton’s third law of force. I am just kidding. She dressed a simple dress but it appeared perfect. Her simplicity is what everyone around her observes the most and so do I. Her heart? Never should I mention how clean and pure her heart is. I wonder if the Goddess Tara came in her form.

Our feet drove us silently along the road leading to the zoo; I would rather say the takin park just above the institute. I was carrying a ‘Dairymilk’ chocolate in one of my hands and Karma gestured me to hand it over to her and I too was scanning for the right time to give it to her. I gathered all my will and finally could hand it over to her. She smiled with a thank-you-expression and Karma popped in, “I heard it from somewhere that chocolate increases our love.” Karma and Sangay took the later steps after sometimes and the funny part was that they curved their steps though the road was straight one. They remained few ten steps behind us. Should I term them ‘Understanding’ or they had different theme to talk about that they didn’t want two of us to hear? “We can’t keep up your steps. We’re tired. Why don’t you guys move ahead?” they complained as they prepared to take a seat on the green lawn by the side of the road.

If eyes could speak, they would have gotten a beating each. Their eyes told me that they were lying and all they wanted was not to make us feel uneasy in front of them. Though grateful from within, I put on a short drama, “Ahh…Common let’s go together for more heads would mean a funnier company.”  I did not realize that I had been avenged with beating too if they took a look into my eyes and saw my seriousness. I wasn’t serious at all with what I spoke to them and all I could think was how grateful I was to them for being thoughtful that very moment. We glimpsed through the zoo viewing takins and deer. I found little peace for my wish was always to watch those animals graze.

The time already neared for us to reverse our direction back to her institute. How I wished the day to be bit longer at that moment! How I aspired if I had a supernatural power to stop the time at that very moment! But I was helpless for we can’t change the nature’s will and almighty’s might.  All I could do was to realize how true the person was to mention, “The time and tides wait for none.” I wonder why it isn’t verified when we have weary afternoon lectures especially after a heavy lunch in hot summer days. I walked slowly down the sloppy road trying to catch up with her. We entered the institute’s gate. It was a peaceful place and I could feel my smelling sensor with the aromatic fragrance of pines. I tested out if I could hear any bird nesting and chirping out loud but I couldn’t. I presumed they had retired to the comfort of their cozy next after a long day. They busied themselves in gathering nuts and corns during the day and were extremely all-in. I heard something strange and the voice was bit ambiguous for I haven’t heard such noise since my birth two decades ago. That time too was my heart beating but it changed its pitch a bit. Stop stop stop….!!! I shouted in muteness. She escorted me through the campus and it was really really a beautiful place to hang around and it appeared totally a thrilling spot while taking a walk with her. Everything seems spectacular when being with our loved ones. Even the hell…umm…did I speak too much? Whatever, I just felt an ecstatic feeling going on when I finally gathered all my buoyancy to catch hold of her soft hand into mine.

Karma and Sangay were like what they had been doing a moment ago; staying behind. It was dark and the day was about to completely close its eyes. I walked till her hostel and it was the time that we bid goodbye to the day. I didn’t want to turn my back to her and walk away just because the day ended. I didn’t want to send her to the hostel and it was hard for me to see her walk away. Neither could I walk myself. It was like a static moment for me. Everything in me became just a numb. I hugged her in my arms and I whispered, “Give me a call if you want me to wear it for you.” She walked in slowly bearing a bright smile and I could see beauty even as she turned her back. I and karma walked along the road and just as we entered a cab to drive us back home, my phone rang.
I smiled as my phone displayed her contact name; Dummy.